Well, hello …

I know.  It’s been a while.  Sorry.  My initial reason (*cough* excuse) for not blogging in such a long time is because everything has been going wonderfully here.  Obviously that is completely over-optimistic and rose-tinted (and untrue), and ANYway, as my old stage management lecturer would point out, blogging shouldn’t just be there for when things go belly-up.

I suppose I have an awful lot to be thankful for.  Although it’s not easy for us freelancers, I’ve now learned (finally) to stop worrying about where the next contract is coming from.  Sooner or later, one turns up.  I do still worry that I’m not being proactive enough about finding new and exciting work opportunities, but things always make their way to me before I have the chance to do something about it.  I know that won’t always be the case.  Call this part of a new drive, then, to increase my profile, seek out those new and exciting ventures!  Until tomorrow, when I start a new contract and won’t have time for anything else.

There have been some truly amazing shows over the last year or so.  An incredible three-months on an epic “small-scale” (arf arf) tour.  Some super projects with young people (which, selfishly, is an area I never thought I would want to work in, but I’ve been happily proved wrong).  Oh, and a bonkers site-specific promenade performance of a Philip Glass opera set in an aircraft hangar.  Risk assess THAT one.

And it looks like the fun’s going to continue well into the new year.  The ubiquitous christmas show will be followed by a tour with some old friends, initially to London, and then later to the Middle East (which I am completely petrified about, never having toured on that scale before, so I am taking every snippet of advice I can get).  There is one company in particular whose books I’m extremely lucky to be on.  I owe an awful lot of my working existence to them.  I think, unfortunately, there will come a time when I need to say no to them (although it will kill me to do it), because although the projects I work on with them are great, I do feel very “safe” there, and I’m generally a bit weary of feeling “safe”.  I don’t know.  Perhaps it’s my Scottish genes making me suspicious of good things.  Gift horses, etc.

Anyhoo, watch this space.  I FULLY intend to blog much more now (and I know I know I’ve said that before but I really do mean it this time, honest).  And in the meantime, if anyone has any tips for touring in Abu Dhabi, please pass them this way!

“I love the sound of you walking away”

I’ve been wondering lately if it’s ever acceptable to walk away from a job.  If you’d asked me that a year ago, I would have responded with some speech about dedication to a show and commitment to a company.  Which is easy to say when things are going well, but what about when they go seriously wrong?

I’ve been extremely lucky in my first 12 months to have been able to find fairly steady work doing something I studied and love.  Even during the odd bad contract, the positives have always greatly outweighed the negatives.

I found myself recently gaining employment via word of mouth from a fellow SM.  The company had a great reputation creating promenade-style site-specific theatre on a large scale, doing some really different things that I knew would challenge and inspire me, as well as push me in a new direction.  It should have been the perfect job.  The cast were delightful to work with, exremely professional, appreciative, but also great fun.  The Production Manager who had employed me was working elsewhere, and his wife ran the show.  The only other members of the technical or production team were a designer, costume maker, lighting designer & sound designer.

I was expected to be in rehearsals when possible whilst also building the sets (all outdoors, in the middle of a forest), and making and sourcing props – there were no ASMs, no set-builders, no crew.  We’re used to mucking in though, as Stage Managers!  I rather like working in small teams, as long as there is a supportive framework in place (even when it’s a support team of just one person supervising).

At the peak of  three weeks of pre-production & rehearsals, I had been working on average 14 hour days; one memorable week I clocked up 90 hours.  It’s hardly surprising that I ended up in hospital for three days halfway through this.  Unsurprisingly, considering the hours we put in, the resulting show was well put-together, smooth running and a great success with audiences.  Despite being exhausted, I could have bared it, as we all trusted one another.  Which is exactly when my relationship with the acting PM fell apart.  I don’t pretend to be a saint, but I always strive to remain neautral, enthusiastic, calm and professional at all times in this job, even when being shouted at by a PM, in front of the cast, for prolonged periods of time.  Which happened, regularly.  I went so far to try to please the PM, that even after apologising for someone else breaking a prop, or losing a battery pack, I would still go back to my digs wondering what else I could do to please her.  I was accused of being lazy and not being dedicated to the show, which is when I had had enough.  A polite request by myself to meet off-site to discuss our differences for the sake of the last week of performances resulted in a shockingly abusive and slanderous email.  I had had enough.  I wasn’t on a contract – the whole thing operated on trust – and I had nothing to gain by continuing in this environment.

I had lost all sense of self-worth, and was questioning my own abilities so much it was, ironically, starting to affect my abilities to perform well!  As a result of the constant negativity I was emotionally drained, filled with self-doubt, in ill-health, and physically shaking when she phoned in my “off-time” (midnight, in one case).  That night I packed my bags and handed in my notice.

I thought I had regained control by doing this.  The saving grace has been gaining re-employment with another company, who are  a wonderful group of performers and technicians, all of them appreciative and supportive, which bring out the best in me, which in turn makes me a better Stage Manager for them.

The terrible fact is that four months on, when left on my own for long periods of time, the whole event regularly comes back to me, and I am filled with self-doubt.  I hope that by writing this down I can now, finally, put it behind me.

Beggars can be choosers

Since leaving university 6 months ago, I’ve worked on a variety of short-term contracts, ranging from opera, to large-scale events and a musical.

I’ve been enjoying the diversity of work this brings – I certainly never thought I’d end up being a part of a Disney musical!  Even more surprising, is that I’ve enjoyed it immensely.

And it seems that this is key when working from day to day, is to always strive to enjoy it.  It’s not always possible, but there’s no point spending days in misery.  I chose to work in Stage Management – I want to make it work.

One of the first jobs turned out to be a mistake.  Very poorly managed, extremely hard work for no reward or recognition, and unsatisfying.  I’ve just been asked back in late 2010, and although at the moment I’m available, I strongly believe that beggars can be choosers: I won’t be returning.

Thanks

Yesterday was obviously a day for compliments.  I overheard one of the stage management teams on another show being complimented by their director, and mine did the same to us in the morning, when I was introduced to the choreographer.  It’s so nice to be treated with some respect and intelligence, unlike a previous production when I was distinctly trod-upon on several occasions.

It’s silly that a little thing like that can really help lift your day, and energise you into working better, but it does.  It also helps remind you that little things like chatting to cast members, asking how their recital went, really helps their day too.

Technology in Stage Management

My graduation project was all about how stage management team members could use developments in computer technology to better effect.  Part of the outcome of that project was a decision to implement some changes in the way I work as a DSM on my final allocation at RSAMD: deputy stage manager for Les Contes d’Hoffmann.

The main way of doing this at present is to use the Macbook in rehearsals.  Although we are only on day 3 of rehearsals, it has been so much simpler to type rehearsal notes, cast timesheets, and personal notes straight up on the Macbook during the day, at quiet moments.  I’m not messing around looking for different pieces of unnecessary paper, and, crucially, a great amount of time is saved at the end of the day, when I would normally be typing up rehearsal notes and formatting them.  I estimate in these 3 days I’ve saved around 1 hour at the end of the day.  Of course, the next step would be to connect wirelessly to the internet, and send out notes directly and instantly from the rehearsal room. Unfortunately there is no wireless in the rehearsal rooms.  Wireless internet should really be installed in the rehearsal rooms to make this work fully.  This would also allow the possibilty of referencing props on the internet for the director whilst in the space, or resolving queries regarding language etc.

Analysing attitudes to Stage Management

There was a bit of a strange situation yesterday when the director turned round and asked me why I hadn’t checked something (even though I had), and then continued talking to a cast member without waiting for an answer.  There’s a s slight sense of being brushed aside when I ask questions.  I know that’s fairly typical, and I haven’t let it get to me (it’s not a big deal), but it is slightly frustrating when the conductor introduces you to a cast member as “this is Calum, he’s just here as technical support”.  And yes, of course, that is exactly what I am, but it wasn’t great.

So, why does it happen?

There is a definite sense of being given the brush-off, and certainly a sense of superiority.  Is this just part of the set-up I shold expect?  I don’t think it needs to be.  Importantly, it’s usually the student casts I have dealt with who have had more professional and equal attitudes than the supposedly professionally-trained staff and creative teams.

However, fellow students in opera and music do sometimes look at you as if you were inadequate; as if my degree is less worthy because it perhaps isn’t as academic or ‘fine art’ as playing an instrument.  The funny thing is watching someone’s attitude change when they start speaking to you.

In a way this goes with job – as part of a technical team we have chosen not to be in the limelight.  But a little recognition of the work we do would be nice (work that is of equal importance to the actors, designers, or directors).

I really think that communication is key here.  It’s all very well to go home and blog about it, after somebody’s said something, but perhaps something needs to be said at the time.  It’s difficult, because by our very nature as technicians we don’t want to be obtrusive.  But a gentle reminder might help people realise that what we do is just as valuable.